Freak Out Party: A True Story

Click Here to see how Marigold almost killed us on our drive to Slidell for Christmas.

NOVA

One day, one of the few that I was a Physics major at Humboldt State, Arron asked me about String Theory. He was correct in assuming that I should know something about this. I felt I should have. However, after watching Brian Greene in a NOVA episode on PBS last night (and a few weeks ago in my art history class), I now can feel okay with my then reaction. "Uh . . . well, it's, um . . . complicated. Why should I know, Jackass!?!." Except for the temper issue, I was completely correct. It is complicated. And most people, even many sciencey physics people, don't really get it. The big hang up is that there are too many dimensions to wrap your head around. They say we live in a universe that has up to eleven dimensions! I don't like that number; it is too odd. I would like a universe with more symmetry than that. Or at least symbolic meaning. Then again, there is Pi, which is beautiful in it's wackiness. Still, so many dimensions!

One of the theories is that we live on a membrane-like structure that consists of only four of those dimensions - X, Y, Z, and time. If that is true then there are whole other universes on other membranes that might be closer to us than you are to me. What caused the Big Bang would then be a simple periodic touching of these shifting membranes.

In conclusion, String Theory might not even involve strings of any kind, and many Physicists now call it M Theory. M stands for mystery, or magic. Or murky.

St. Nick Job Approval Rating

This year, I am glad to report, we did, in fact, NOT rot in hell for Christmas. This made all involved very happy. Sure, maybe we didn't get out as many Christmas cards as we would have liked, or even in a timely manor. But we did get those suckers out, and I'm sorry if you weren't in the lucky bunch. Marigold has posted a pictorial version on her site, if you aren't too slighted to check it out.

It was great to stomp around the old grounds and to see da niece, and nephew again. We wish that we could have seen more people, like all the TaeKwonDo pals, but Christmas could not afford the time.

One of Marigold's presents hasn't arrived yet, and that is very disappointing/disconcerting. But the rest of the gifts went over well. She got a Rio Chiba MP3 player for me, which I am very happy to have. It ain't no iPod, but it is more than enough to get me through the day. Now I can rawk. I couldn't before, butt now I can. Also, Mr. and Mrs. Masserano blessed me with a coveted copy of the Civilization 3. Now I can completely waste all my time (the new quarter starts up next Monday) on this all-consuming game. Who wants to play with me? While I will be doing that Marigold will be playing all kinds of crazy Sims. She now has two new expansion packs for the original game and the newer and improvier Sims 2. We don't plan on seeing each other for the next few weeks.

Picture this: Hours of silence. Suddenly, me shouting over my shoulder, but not averting my gaze from the computer screen, "I love you?" Marigold barely glancing up from her laptop in the other room, "Yes, and I love you." Hours of silence.

And for Alicia's birthday present from me I have added a handy link to her live journal. Don't say it's too much, because I wanted to do it.

The Crantabulous Chris!

He once was a mere One. Then he was a Zero. Now, ladies and gentlemen, he has miraculously transformed himself, or at least a close facsimile, into a whole string of Ones and Zeros. Chris, one time cohabiter of my dear mother's lions, has gone digital. When faced with seemingly insurmountable odds, he has conquered the wilds with wondrous deeds and fantastic feats. He has given of himself and, incredibly, of Jose Saramago and Edward Gorey. He has accomplished what mere peons like you and me only dream of on cold, lonely nights or prolonged trips to the bathroom. Boys and girls, be prepared to be Amazed! Be prepared to be knocked off your socks! Be prepared to be completely unprepared for what you are about to experience. Introducing the astonishing, implausible, breathtaking, mind-boggling, and good web-experience of chrishaske.com.

(Who would say, "one time cohabiter of my dear mother's lions". That is really gross.)

Here We Go A Christmasing

Off we go, back to the Louisiana for a Stremiki Kristmas. Marigold and I are very excited to see the Milla babies again. It has only been about six months since we moved to Savannah, but in baby years that is a long time. Those other people will be okay too. I hope you kick some reindeer ass this year, it will be so happy.

And because you will miss me so much I will leave all you mutlitudes with this bit of know-how: OK and okay probably derive from different origins. Ch-ch-check it out. This is a great site with tons of word/phrase etymologies. Thanks to Cory for asking what "Proof in the pudding" means. Bloody Brits. I really hope that they don't all rot in hell this holiday season.

A Christmas Story

After finishing Middlesex I decided to look up some of the Greek myth characters alluded to in the story. Most obviously, I went to Hermaphroditus, son of Hermes and Aphrodite, who gains, though tragedy (it is Greek) both male and female characteristics. But I also came upon another little male/female mix-em-up story. This is the story if Attis.

Attis is the son of Cybele who became her daughter.
Zeus desired Cybele and made advances to her, which were rejected. One night Zeus approached her while she slept and masturbated at her feet. Later, because of this, Cybele gave birth to Agdistis, who was androgynous and immensely strong.

Because Agdistis was uncontrollable, Dionysus managed to trick him into emasculating himself. A great river of blood pours forth from Agdistis's wound and is absorbed by the earth from which spring forth all manner of flowers.

Nana, sees the fruit and finding it beautiful places it on her bosom. Cybele changes the fruit to a seed from which Nana becomes pregnant. Nana's father, believing her to have been licentious, locks her away without food or water, attempting to starve her to death but Cybele supplies her with food and drink. Upon the birth of the child her father orders it taken to the river and left among the reeds to die but a shepherd finds the child and takes him home. The child is named Attis.

Attis grows into a remarkably beautiful young man, and Cybele, observing that the young lad is more beautiful than any of the gods, loves Attis above all others and showers him with gifts and favors. Attis, of course, returns her love. Agdistis also loved Attis and seduced the vulnerable young man.

Midas, king of Phrygia, arranges Attis to marry his own daughter. Cybele and Agdistis however disrupt the ceremony. Cybele informs him of the agony he caused her when he left with Agdistis. When Attis learns of Cybele's suffering, in a fit of passion he grabs a knife and under a pine tree emasculates himself. As he lay dying he called out, "Oh Great Mother, forgive me. I never sought to cause you grief and I never will again." Violets spring up from drops of his blood, entwining into the boughs of the tree, and therein entered the spirit of Attis.

Upon seeing that her son was repentant, emasculated, and dead, Cybele carries the pine tree, with all its decorations, to her cave. For the three days Attis is dead and he visits the Underworld. Then, on the third day, Cybele brings Attis back to life. Providing Attis with her most glorious raiment she proclaims the renascent one her daughter and her lover, conferring upon Attis gifts of mystery equal to her own. In her own words Cybele declares the transformation, "Rejoice, my son is gone and in his place a daughter has arisen. Let all of beauty, strength, power, compassion, honor, mirth, and reverence be at her service. Let all who would do her harm, pay grievous penalty, and to all who do her tribute accrue fitting reward."

I hadn't heard this story before. Or at least so concise and straight-fowardly put. Does it look a little familiar to you? Or is it just a disturbing fairy tale primitively about the changing of seasons from those silly old pagans? It is, but look closer. There is the Immaculate Conception! There is attempted infanticide! There the shepherds! There the self-sacrifice on a tree! The crying out to god for forgiveness! Then, most importantly, after three days of death (in a cave no less!), resurrection!

In this Christmas season I see more and more evidence that Jesus is actually not the reason. Of course, to thousands of people this is not a revelation that the Jesus story might be complete fiction derived from Greek roots (and even before that through oral traditions!). However, for me, I don't know how to feel. This evidence, and others, is what the skeptic in me is always looking for but never hoping to find. Jesus was the go-to guy for me for too long to just junk him so easily. As Hedwig said when asked if he/she believed in Jesus, "No, but I love his work." Even if it is fiction. And I love Christmas, even if it is really just a hyped-up Winter Solace Celebration.

Ornamental Screws

So I'm reading this Middlesex book by Jeffrey Eugenides (also the author of The Virgin Suicides). I liked this little two word combination on page 403 - ornamental screws. He didn't write it in a sex way, but that works too. "Ornamental Screws" is right up there with "Decorative Balls". I recommend this book, just in case you are not one of the millions of readers who hasn't read it yet. Or if you're a hermaphrodite. It is nicely lyrical without being weighed down. However, don't expect a Vonnegut-like quick read. It took until page 300 or so for me to really get into it. thematically, it is very similar to Orlando, but less surreal, more science based. But don't think that the writing is anything like Woolf's. It is actually written in the style of J.D. Salinger. In fact, you could read Catcher in the Rye and Orlando back to back and you wouldn't need Middlesex. Ah well.

In other news, Ray's Vast Basement is a stellar band out of San Francisco. I learned of them through www.epitonic.com, which I have spent hours clicking through the Similar Artist suggestions and downloading great mp3s. I found M.Ward through here as well, and he is one of my favorites ever. What especially gets me about Ray's Vast Basement is that all their songs (two albums so far) are based on characters and locations in a mythical Northern California town of Drakesville centered on a large cave. The fictional history is really imaginative and detailed, like Phish's Gamehendge but more relevant, less silly. Check them out if you like Tom Waits, My Morning Jacket, or Pinetop Seven.

This year Christmas is proving that old adage, "You know, they say that the highest suicide rate is at Christmas." I am stressing out over what to get for people who are perpetually difficult to shop for - parents. God! Why do they have to be that way? Chtttt! Why can't they be more materialistic? I know that my love and respect for them means a lot, but it means squat for Christmas. The "thought" in "It's the thought that counts" has to be wrapped around something and then tied with ribbon. But it is now the weekend before Christmas and I still am lost for what to do.

Rocket Man

Ah! The wonder of Transport! Just when I think that I making a 16th century wooden boat, it turns out to really be a rocket ship! This is what I have been spending most of my time doing lately. It is great to do while listening to music or books on tape (or mp3). I just finished listening to Bill Clinton's "My Life" read by Billy himself. It was very interesting, and I think an important document for future historians. I know better than to believe every word, or to think that there weren't deliberate omissions, but still it is a good personal account of the tough job of President. Today I am listening to Calexico and Muse (a Radiohead knock-off with a great website).

Marigold I went to see Closer the other night, because she wanted to. It was a great relationship-questioning thriller. Unfortunately, it was way too play-like for my tastes. Much of the dialog, minimal scenes/visuals, and lack of music kept it feeling like a stage play caught on film. I say if you are making a movie, make a movie. Still, it was really good and I would recommend it. Marigold and I talked about it for a long time afterwards, discussing who "won", who was the biggest ass, and how much we want to sleep with Jude Law.

The Mac

I used to like Macintosh computers. They were much sleeker than PCs, to say the least. No matter how your politics lie, Windows operating system is merely a flawed copy of the Apple operating system. All the really good graphics software was designed to used the superior Mac, if not games. Macs are much cooler looking as well. People who don't like computers, buy Macs because they make nice home decor. Sure, those people are dumb, but Apple got them and HP or Dell didn't.

But then there's that bottom line - the price. When I can get a much cheaper PC with much cheaper software, if not free software, why would I buy a Mac? And so I didn't use a Mac for many years. Until today. It sucked. Maybe I have become an old dog, but I have little tolerance for illogical systems. That one button mouse is crap. The window opening, closing, and sizing business is silly. Where is the file structure tree? I need that tree. That "Finder" is pure Pope shit.

Then again I hate certain people's personal setup on their PC's as well. Like when the mouse is way too sensitive, or is a trackball instead. Or a god-damned too-sensitive trackball. Or they use "My Computer" or the incredibly lame search dog or paperclip animations/roadblocks. Or a distracting wallpaper is behind a desktop filled with once-used word file icons. Or there's the Start menu with every freeware program known to the internet listed. It takes up the whole screen when you accidentally mouse over Programs. Clean that shit off.

If you disagree with my operating system aesthetics, then don't use my computer, and I won't use yours. And I think we should see other people.

Primer

This movie looks awesome and, of course, it isn't playing here. I guess I have to wait for the DVD, at which point I will have forgotten about it. It's just like that other movie that I really wanted to see. You know the one with the thing in that place staring that one girl.

Lost

This is just a little sketch from my sketchbook. It is about the joy in a child's heart upon receiving the love of a mother.

Lost on ABC is one of the new best shows ever. I have heard that it is the new, hottest "cult" show, like X-Files was. I guess I am a cultish guy, but I hate those kind of handles. Anyway, Lost is a really great mysterious drama in the vein of Jurassic Park, Island of Dr. Moreau, Gilligan's Island, Cast Away, Planet of the Apes, The Munsters, and most obviously Survivor (but without the voting off). But it also a great character study of all these wacky and well-rounded people. Unfortunately, some of the characters are almost pure stereotypes, but you can't have all winners with such a huge cast. I just hope this doesn't turn into the typical Stephen King style crappy ending. Right now the show is presenting all kinds of interesting and provocative questions. I am praying that they don't answer those big questions with petty answers, a la The Matrix. Lost has not disappointed yet

If you're not watching Lost then you might as well continue. However, I think that next Wednesday they are showing the first two or four hours, or whatever. Check it out if you can. Set the TiVo. Sell the house. Sell the car. Sell the kids.

Christmas Is For Suckas. Like Me.

Buying Christmas gifts for a spouse is just about one of the most stressful things one can attempt to do. Will this special, gift-wrapped item give the right message? Will it say, "I love you soooooo much!" all the while being useful? Will it be fun? Will it be something that was really needed, but not necessarily romantic? Will it fit in the budget? Could I afford to fit it in the budget? Could it be a gift for "us"? Will be simply jewelry? Will it then be the right jewelry? Could it be a gift certificate? How about cash? Would membership to a gym and workout clothes be taken in the wrong way? Does it have to be better than last year's gift? (a laptop computer that I am using right now.) If I make it myself in the kitchen or with popsicle sticks, will that be construed as cheap? How expensive is The Clapper? Would the box set of The O.C. - The Complete First Season, the latest Janet Evanovich book, assorted cheap jewelry, O Magazine, a ladies golfing set, or other crap on any of those Top-25-Gifts-For-Her-That-Involve-No-Thought-From-You lists be okay? How about that dictionary she has been itching for?

Maybe I'll just get a rope so I can hang myself. That will take out the middle man.

No Rest For The Obsessed

So today has not been one of those "productive" ones. I have been obsessed with this whole island thing lately and have wasted hours drooling over islands. If you have bottomless pants and want to really get something special for me for Christmas, I suggest this. It gives me shivers, it is so great. And really quite a deal. This one would really make me love you. Look how fantastic it is! If your blood isn't boiling with excitement, then you're not really looking at it. This one is modestly priced and in a beautiful area. I should really be spending less time piddling and more time earning and saving money in order to purchase one of these beauties. Now, there's a goal!

This is the track list to the mix CD I made today (see piddling comment above):

Mississippi John Hurt - Goodnight Irene
Nick Drake - Pink Moon
Andrew Bird - Master Fade
Devendra Banhart - A Sight To Behold
The National - 90-mile Water Wall
16 Horsepower - Hang My Teeth on Your Door
K-os - Crabbucket
Eels - That's Not Really Funny
Tom Waits - Hoist That Rag
Slim Cessna's Auto Club - This is How We Do Things in the Country
the Black Keys - Stack Shot Billy
Calexico - Alone Again
Eleni Mandell - Can't You See I'm Soulful
Daniel Johnston - Story of an Artist
The Mercy Seat - Drinking with Bukowski
Dr. John - Piano interlude
Sufjan Stevens - He Woke Me Up Again

(Do you see the dream opening and closing theme? Clever, huh? It's like some funky and edge-of-depressed dream where Irene missed her queue.)