I'm never gonna know you now, but I'm gonna love you anyhow (II)

Tonight I fell in love with this place all over again. We went down to Tybee Beach to celebrate the afternoon thunderstorm...

"Let's go to the beach! Let's go to the beach!"


Wow. Looks like some weather is coming our way.


Whatever. Let's play!


Yay!

Wow, I Wish I Could Speak Whale.

So the report on Mystery Men goes thus: Tom Waits, Tom Waits, Tom Waits. I didn't know he was in this movie until just before putting it in. How wonderful! How perplexing! Why the hell would Tom Waits play this dumbass role in this dumbass movie? Anyway, there he is delivering stupid lines to a bunch of stupid "Superheroes." I love it. It fits perfectly on our slowly building cinema shelf. I want the video/DVD shelf to show off my fine cultural taste, and my refined intelligence, yet spunky personality. So far here it is so far:

Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (extended edition)
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (impatient fan edition)
Best In Show
Life of Brian
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
The Big Lebowski
The Muppets Take Manhattan (General Mills edition)
Muppets From Space
American Splendor
Great Martial Arts Movies (badly dubbed edition)
Chicago
Spiderman (Deluxe edition)
Kill Bill (Vol. 1 & 2)
Family Guy (Season 1 & 2)
Finding Nemo
Slaughterhouse Five
Hedwig and the Angry Inch
The Jerk
The Princess Bride
Gone With The Wind
Kathy Smith (New Yoga Basics & Peak Fat Burning)

and now: Mystery Men

On with movies: We are watching Finding Nemo tonight. I forgot how totally awesome this movie is. Pixar is the bestest animation company ever. Please give me a job, Pixar. I will be happy with you, not angy like at my last job.

How 'bout that Jesus, huh?

This is my Jesus hat. But where is Jesus, you might ask? Great question, but that is for your local priest to answer, not me.


We bought a VHS version of Mystery Men at The Flea Market. This is a movie that since it's inception Marigold and I wanted to see. But not really. You see, we were afraid. Afraid that it would be a complete waste of time. Afraid that we might love it. Afraid to spend three bucks to rent it when Poison Ivy II was right there, a guaranteed good time. I am excited about watching Mystery Men. Like a virgin , in antici-



-pation, I wait to watch. Nervous, I want it to be just right, but I know there is a high possibility that the experience will only be awkward and embarrassing.

Roaches, Bro

So Chris came in last night. We walked downtown, and talked, and ate and whatnot. Plenty of time in the next few weeks that he is here for us to get bored with each other. Anyway, he incorporated himself into a dream I had this morning. I guess his visit has stressed me out more than I would have liked to admit. In the dream he woke me up by shaking me and showing me a white paper bag in his hand. Apparently a giant cockroach had woke him up and he captured it in the bag, but then didn't know what to do with it. You'd think: kill it, squash it, destroy it, wipe it out of existence. But not Chris, or at least Dream Chris. He is a goddamned hippy, and wouldn't hurt a cockroach. As I was only half awake and not responding adequately, he felt to drive his point home he would show me the cockroach. He did this by tipping the opening of the bag to my face, only inches away. I'm not kidding you, this beast was at least five inches long and quickly approaching my nose. I freaked out, twitching everywhere, and the roach went scrambling across the room, squeezed in some crack. Chris, looked nonchalant about the bug getting away; at least it wasn't murdered by his immoral brother. I woke up then, not from insect fears, but from brotherly anger. When I told him about the dream, I wanted to specify the moral: Kill those dirty bastards. I'm not sure he understood the importance of this, however. We will see in the coming days.

Hiatus

First off: I feel bad. I was gone from this e-world for a few days, leaving you all dry and desperate. Rest easy, dear friends, scholarly hurdles have been leaped and aspirations faded for the next few weeks. We are in-between quarters officially as of today. This little piece was the final piece in my Drawing and Design for Illustrators class:


Imagine it being the headlining editorial illustration to an article titled: Mental Illness - What Me Worry?

On another note: a quarter-sized Huntsman spider was spied in our bathroom this evening. This has not been the first time one of the "babies" has been spotted. However, this one does hold the distinction as the first of the spotted to have gotten away. Damn my buttery fingers. Unfortunately, I believe that we have many a Huntsman to look forward to in our formerly fine home. Why don't you come visit, and stay a night? Insert Vincent Price laugh here.

Leading to: Chris, my brotherly companion for many a year, arrives tomorrow afternoon! The maid is cleaning the living area he will be occupying as I type. He will be bumming it in this household of bums. What will three people with no tangible responsibilities do to fill the time? We will change the world, one late night conversation in front of the TV at time, my unbelieving public.

Also: who would have thought that that last silly little post would have conjured up such a pooptastic response from friends and otherwise? Apparently, some people get riled up by shitballz.

And: I read Coupland's "Hey, Nostradamus" tonight per Marigold's demand and enjoyed it a lot. Like, a lot a lot. Very enjoyable, if sadness can be called enjoyable. What I'm saying is: Read it, Alicia.

Finally: bye.

Wisdom of the Scarab

Look at this fantastic ball of poop! I’m really rolling something great now! The kids are gonna brag about this shitball, oh let me tell you. Good Lord, this is fine feces! Rolling, rolling, rolling, keep them dingleberries rolling! Hot shit, this fiber filled excrement is big! Taken the BM to the Hiz-owwwwwwwws, brothas. Sweet dung, nectar of life, I love you.

The Plumbers

These are the plumbers that came to our previous apartment whenever we had a problem. They were brothers. They were cajun. They were giant men.

Running in 3/4 Time

I ran a mile again today. For some reason I am becoming a runner, and writing about it here just might jinx me. So I won't go on and on about my new permanently healthy lifestyle. Anyway, I noticed as I ran that the rhythm of my feet is naturally in 3/4 time. In my head, it is always: boom, bang, bang, boom, bang, bang. I can consciously think about it differently (2/4 or 4/4), but it always slides back. My only explanation is that my distant German heritage is deeply rooted in my genes. I couldn't get away from that Polka waltz if I tried. This is further evidenced by my limited repertoire on the accordion that I've had for many a year. Plenty of time to learn more than a polka beat.

And now for something completely different:

Marigold and I purchased areoplane tickets to fly to Justin and Alicia's Wedding! This make feel the exciting and happy, yes. Much joy floweth forth from the inner regions of me.

Uncut

Today "Uncut" has less to do with circumcision and more with the British. Apparently, almost all music and computer magazines in England include CDs. This is not unlike candy to me. I can't resist. Uncut is like a British RollingStone, but better because it includes a CD and is not RollingStone. I would subscribe, but that would elevate this sporadic guilty pleasure into a world of pop admittance that I'm not ready for. I'm just too punk rock for all that (but not in the Ramones/NOFX punk rock sense, really punk rock, you know?). There's no need to give The Man money, when I have The Internet.

Lately, I have been into reading about the history of Mary Magdalen, the early Christians, Rennes-le-Chateau, and other boring history stuff They never tell you about. I love it, but reading about it all makes me sad. This is because I know I will only remember about one percent of it all even as I close the book. In the future, whenever I overhear a conversation about holy blood and the South of France, or what happened to Lazarus after he lived again, I will shout out, "Hey! I know something about that, and I would love to illuminate you with my vast knowledge right now. But I can't. So shutup! I hate you!" Then whoever it is that I just verbally shat upon will turn to me and say, "You are just too punk rock for me, man."

Blog Changes

This blog is boring, so I was going to change it up, as encouraged by Marigold's constant website re-designs. I even had the new title graphic complete and colors picked out. But then it was turning out to be a huge pain in the ass. Then it got to be more of a pain. Then it looked crappy because of the compromises I had to make. I would rather have a mundane blog template than a horrible looking personalized site. I just don't have the motivation to put hours/days into this like Marigold does.

Therefore, it looks like it will stay humdrum until I gain some patience. You will just have to put up with a boring presentation and boring content like this. If you don't like you don't have to tune in.

Peru Rocks

New ancient city found in Peru! Now I want to go back to Peru and explore again. I also would like to have a scrapbook of the pictures from when Will, Rosie Anne (evil canadian), and I went there in 1999, but I was too lazy to put that together. Now I have only a few pictures floating here and there, and fading memories. I also meant to make a travel website of our Peruvian trip, but the world only gets this (not even my picture!):


Seriously though, go to Peru when you get a few weeks off of work. It is VERY cheap and majestic and adventurous and beautiful and luxerious (if you want to spend a little more than fifteen dollars a day).

I got yawn Tiersen's- Good Bye Lenin yesterday. He is the guy who did the Amalie soundtrack, which is great (along with the movie). So far Good Bye Lenin is just as great. Another movie to add to the list of must see's.

Also, Eleni Mandell is great like a younger, female Tom Waits is great. She singy, singy real nice-like.

When in Greece . . .

NBC was doing a huge build up to Olympics up until it started a few days ago. I couldn't have cared less. I was even bitter about the crappy, nationalistic, overly sentimental coverage they would have. Even though I would like it differently (for intense, coverage of events like fencing and TaeKwonDo, less swimming), I know that it wouldn't sell otherwise.

Then the Olympics started. And now I can't get enough. I never check the schedule online and tune in consciously. However, turning on the TV and flipping the channels almost always means the Olympics are on all night. I can't turn it off. I say things like, "I could do that." or "Freaky little girls." or "synchronized gay diving - fun!" or "Female beach Volleyball is the best sport ever!"

I read this on Salon, and made me nostalgic for the "Miracle" days:
". . .you should have been there to snarl at the Soviet Union and East Germany, who were not only commies, but used doped-up professionals against our virtuous, puppy-saving Western amateurs."

I also like to think I know something about certain events because I played Summer Games and Summer Games II on the Commodore 64.

Marigold asked me tonight, "How come you've never won a fucking gold medal?"

Maybe because you never leave me alone.

Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys

I finished reading this book the other day. I really liked it and it went by very quick. It is in the same sort of tragi-comedy as Catcher in the Rye, or Running with Scissors, all fine reads. It really reminded me of my altar boy/catholic grade school days, both fondly and spitefully. The biggest remorse I have for those days was that I was way to reserved. Just a little bit of Tim Sullivan, or even Francis Doyle, would have done me a world of good. Their adventurous attitude is really admirable. I only gained a little bit of nonchalance, savior-faire, and other french words, at the late date of senior year of high school. I think, as a shy kid I needed good friends to push me into being much less of a wuss: friends that would get me drunk, laid, and in trouble. Friends like Marigold.

This another movie that I have to see now. The movie has gotten mixed reviews, but I have to see it as it is set and filmed in Savannah.

Mandy!

I have added a link to diapantsies. This a very exciting thing for me. It goes back to that old friends thing from the Humboldt days. Mandy was one of the best, and then I said that she had passed her expiration date, and she got upset with me. And then a long period passed. And now here we are. Did I ever say, "I'm sorry" for that rocky college experience? Whatever. Water under the bridge, and out to sea, and evaporated, and dumped back on our heads, and shed like snake skin, and dissolved into soil, and analyzed by Arron Spencer Wilder, and crammed under his nails, and saved in a jar, and given to a girl, and lost in a rage, and found by gollum, and lost by gollum, and found by a hobbit, and handed down to another hobbit, and melted in a volcanic mountain.

Sexist

In an effort to redeem myself of the sexist stigma that has been brandished upon my person by those who will go unnamed, I have come up with a male character that I find equally, or perhaps, more despicable than Scarlett O'Hara. Spread the hate around evenly, some people say. (not me I am driven by Peace) It was hard work to think about deplorable male characters while the debate on Scarlett's poor morals raged, but I think I might have succeeded. The Devil. I can't think of any redeeming qualities that he possesses, and he has never thought of anybody's good will outside of himself. In fact, he tried to tempt Jesus (a man), of all people, away from his good deeds.

Some of you that are prone to argumentation might claim that The Devil is actually a woman, as suggested by popular media. This is a sexist agenda if I've ever seen one. Read your bible, people. Anybody who's anybody in the Bible, and The Devil was certainly somebody, was a man.

I think it was stated best in that most egalitarian of films, Spinal Tap:
Ian: Ah, shit. They are not gonna release the album...because they have decided that the cover is sexist.
Nigel: Well so what? What's wrong with being sexy?

Trust me. I know what I'm doing.

Marigold and I went to BestBuy to buy Kill Bill Vol. 2 today. When we were there we saw that there is now a DVD set for Sledge Hammer! I loved this show back in 1986. I was just a kid, but I think that I was within the target audience. It struck me with such comedic awe, that I frequently cried. It is amazing that through modern technology fond memories can now become loud smiles. Butt that will have to wait until greater income can justify it, or Christmas. Oh lord, that show was funny.

You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how.

Gone With The Wind is Marigold's favorite movie and I just don't get it. She gets very upset and defensive when I say that Scarlett is a real bitch. This is not a main character I can sympathize with, like, or even want to live through the war. The best part of the movie, that I believe was supposed to come off as noble, was when Scarlett gets back to Tara (pronounced like Pres. Bush's "Terror") after her long ordeal. She swears to the heavens that, "If I have to lie, steal, cheat, or kill, as God as my witness, I'll never be hungry again." Yeah, that's a cause I can get behind, a prissy, rich, selfish bitch that would lie, steal, cheat, or even kill me if I happened to be walking by, nibbling on an apple. I'm glad that the movie ended with her sad and alone. "My darling, you're such a child. You think that by saying I'm sorry, all the past can be corrected." Whore.

The Vice-Man

This is for my Materials and Techniques class. I really like pastel. I feel the opposite about Cheney.

I'm listening to Sandy Bull - Re-inventions right now, and it is blowing me away. For your own good, listen to this music.

Marigold went out with "the girls" tonight and came home drunk and tasting like menthol cigarettes. That, ladies and gentlemen, is why I love her so.

Ryan Adams is a Whiney Crybaby

And Bryan Adams is a constipated Pucker Hole. Butt I like Ryan, and not Bryan. I think that the "B" just gets in the way.

I discovered a drawing technique that I really like the other day. Somebody else has probably mastered this and can put me to shame, but I like it just the same. First we do a study drawing in class of a human form or part of and then lay tracing paper over it. On the tracing paper I draw the skeletal structure as an overlay with conte crayon. Because of the waxy surface of tracing paper, the black and white conte mix to look like paint just by rubbing one over the other. So the final piece looks like it was painted, but is still very sketchy like a drawing.


I will try this on something more than a skeletal study sometime soon. I am really busy right now with lots of projects for my classes. It is hard to believe that there are only two more weeks until the end of the quarter. The summer has flown by, quite unlike the endless variety.

The End

Modern Living

You can see my house from here.

Raiding His Own Tusken Birthday

Tony, my esteemed brother, is ruining his birthday. I will admit that my gift idea was not wholly original. But it is multi-teared, like a wedding cake, and Tony just knocked out the columns. Now the bride is drunk and belligerent, and nobody knows where the flower girl ran off to. Thanks a lot, poo head.

exhibit A


exhibit B

More Cute Kitty Crap

When it comes to pastels, a curious kitty becomes a calico kitty quickly.


When It comes to Quaaludes, I can't control that crazy kitty cat. She dance, dance, dance. Dance, dance, dance. Wink! She meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow.

Nazi's and US

It is amazing how much the US military owes to Nazi's. Almost all modern military technology is pilfered from Nazi's. The ME 262 was the first fighter jet created near the end of WW2 (not in enough time to stop the Allies although). The V-2 rocket invented by a Nazi German who became a US citizen after the war and went on to lead the US space program into the sixties. The "Sturmgewehr", the world's first Assault Rifle, was created in 1943 by a German firm. And most importantly, in 1938 German scientists discovered it was possible to release atomic energy through nuclear fission. Of course this leads to the A-bomb. Luckily, the Nazi scientists didn't achieve their goal before "Americans" at New Mexico in 1945. I believe you've heard of Einstein (taught in Berlin until 1933), or J Robert Oppenheimer (learned everything he needed to know in fine German institutions), and many others. The argument could be made that mankind would have advanced technologically just the same without the Nazi Germans. But I don't believe it would have happened as fast. There was an urgency that the Nazi's had. This and their belief in scientific experimentation for military purposes greatly sped up mankind technological advancement (Or in-human moral depravity. However you want to read it.). Therefore, America is the world's most dominant military force, due in large part to Nazi's. It was a good move for the US to get into WW2 when we did.

The Future Is Now

I remember when my parents brought home our first car with a digital clock. It was fantastic! Like science fiction became reality on the way to church. This must have been around 1989. At about the same time some of us kids saved up our allowances to buy digital watches. Now we had the convenience of military time as close as our wris . . . Wait, where's my watch? Who stole my watch?!?

Tony, the oldest and most privileged, had the exclusive opportunity to acquire a digital calculator watch. This, if you remember correctly, was the cream of cool. And Casio was the only calculator watch one could where if one desired to run with the elite. It was like you had the power of James Bond on your wris . . . Wait, who stole my calculator watch?!? Oh, there it is. You could calculate ages, figure measurements, add numbers, spell out SHELLOIL and BOOBS, or any other nearly magical activities. Of course, you need to have decent fingernails or a handy pencil in order to press those tiny rubber buttons. Still! A digital Calculator watch! Imagine it! You don't have to. You can order one from Ebay right now . . . Wait! Where's my bank card? Mom, Tony stole my bank card!!!! Oh, there it is.

Good Gracious, Asses Bodacious

This is one of the greatest videos I've seen in quite a while. It gets a little tedious, but then again, that might be the song's fault. It is amazing what people with lots of time can do. AMAZING!

Also, if you like Triumph The Insult Comic Dog, you will like this video.

Also, I'm seriously thinking of getting rid of anonymous commenting. It kills me to think this way, but I agree with Marigold. When I get a comment of "Fuck you" from Anonymous, I think, "OK. Thanks for adding something thoughtful, funny, enlightening, and most importantly, entertaining to the blog, asshole." (I think facetiously)

The next anonymous comment I get, good or bad, that is not signed within the message is the last one.

Robots of Pure Love

For Jeanette, who loves a robot.

The Affair

Last night I cheated on Marigold with a different Marigold in a dream. I was feeling really guilty about cheating on her with another woman while it was happening. But then again, it was like this was just any other woman. It was Marigold I was fooling around with, just a different one. Still, I made an excuse to go to the bathroom and stare in the mirror. I was going to brake it off. But when I came out The Other Marigold knew what was up and blackmailed me by saying that she would tell The Real Marigold all about her and me if I called it off. I told her that I was going to tell The Real Marigold about The Other Marigold anyway, I couldn't live with this. So then she really turned on her charms, real sexy like, and I was too confused to do anything. So I woke up instead. Just like me to pussy foot out of a situation like that by waking up.

It's a good thing that I dreamed this and not Marigold. She would've been mad at me all day for having an affair with The Other Marigold. She wouldn't care that it was only a dream, I was cheating on her, damn it. But she doesn't know which Marigold she is. Only I know that.

Bird #2

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