RITAAAAAA!

Global warming doesn't exist. It is fiction propagated by the faithless. This hurricane season is happening for one reason only - God hates you. You really pissed him off this time. I read the Bible and shows that God does this kind of thing. You push his buttons and he will get Sodom and Gomorrah on your ass. If anybody can mess with Texas, it's God. God don't care. God is one bad mofo and you, Sinner, you really did it this time. I don't know if it was your gaying off all the time or how you want to be related to monkeys, but God don't like it. You can't run from God. He's faster and badder even than the best ninja. I'll bet you're repenting now, but it won't make a difference. You've gotten the Kiss of Death from God. I would feel sorry for you if you weren't going to Hell anyway. I'll be in Heaven. In a mansion. A gated mansion on the highest cloud. You can't come.