JohnBoy and Miracle Whip
JohnBoy was all-American. He wore jeans. His t-shirts all had big logos. He only shaved with his electric long hair trimmer, leaving a permanent shadow on his face when it wasn't a scraggly half-beard. He never wore a watch.
He went to Art School.
Miracle Whip was Austrian. His accent was as cliche as can be. He smoked like a true European - without guilt. He drank Bud, or Coors, and not just to fit in. He never heard of O.J. Simpson, but he knows Pat Robertson.
He is best friends with JohnBoy.
JohnBoy and Miracle Whip are never seen far from each other when going out. They frequent the same bars, the same restaurants. They go on double dates with each other. When they go on dates. JohnBoy likes Asian girls. Miracle Whip likes blondes.
Tonight JohnBoy and Miracle Whip have found their way into the thumping Monkey Room, a place to pick up experienced ladies if there ever was on. At least in this two barn town. While leering at the goods JohnBoy and Miracle Whip sipped on their Black Russians, stirred.
The music elevated to an ear-piercing, heart-shaking, roof-raising, toe-taping, butt-hugging, glass-braking, belt-loosening, sweat-inducing wail as JohnBoy and Miracle Whip honed in on their target - a graying Japanese lady getting down in the far corner. She was beautiful. She smelled faintly of sausage.
"I'll take the right." JohnBoy winked.
"And I'll take the wrong." Miracle Whip said as they stepped out into the swirling lights and fog.
He went to Art School.
Miracle Whip was Austrian. His accent was as cliche as can be. He smoked like a true European - without guilt. He drank Bud, or Coors, and not just to fit in. He never heard of O.J. Simpson, but he knows Pat Robertson.
He is best friends with JohnBoy.
JohnBoy and Miracle Whip are never seen far from each other when going out. They frequent the same bars, the same restaurants. They go on double dates with each other. When they go on dates. JohnBoy likes Asian girls. Miracle Whip likes blondes.
Tonight JohnBoy and Miracle Whip have found their way into the thumping Monkey Room, a place to pick up experienced ladies if there ever was on. At least in this two barn town. While leering at the goods JohnBoy and Miracle Whip sipped on their Black Russians, stirred.
The music elevated to an ear-piercing, heart-shaking, roof-raising, toe-taping, butt-hugging, glass-braking, belt-loosening, sweat-inducing wail as JohnBoy and Miracle Whip honed in on their target - a graying Japanese lady getting down in the far corner. She was beautiful. She smelled faintly of sausage.
"I'll take the right." JohnBoy winked.
"And I'll take the wrong." Miracle Whip said as they stepped out into the swirling lights and fog.
posted by Stephen "Steve" at 8/27/2005 04:31:00 PM
2 Comments:
steven, is this based on a true story?
what will johnboy and miraclewhip do next?
i remember when i used to smell like sausage until i checked my spelling.
Posted by arron
JohnBoy and Miracle Whip are real people, really called that by certain other real people. They really are friends. I don't really know them very well, so I made up the rest.
You definately used to smell like something.
I don't know what they will do next. It was a controlled stream of conscious thing. Maybe they will meet Brass Thumbtacks .
Posted by Steve