The Fix
I get credit card offers all the time in the mail. Almost everyday, in fact. I don't know my credit score, but I figure that it is pretty good based on all this crap that gets sent to me. Considering how Big Brother could crush me quicker than you saying "We surely shall see the sun shine soon.", I guess I should be happy for these crumbs of affirmation.
They contain such serious silliness that I love reading some of these "offers" that pack my mailbox. There are so many footnotes with specialized terms and conditions. I wonder how much their lawyers get paid for such creative razzle-dazzle. One of my favorite tricks they do is is offer is giant, bold letters 7.99% Fixed APR!***
And then on the bottom in tiny print -
*** "APRs for this offer are not guarenteed; APRs may change to higher APRs, fixed APRs may change to variable APRs, or variable APRs may change to fixed APRs. We reserve the right to change the terms (including the APRs) at any time for any reason."
To me "fixed" means it is stable or firm. I am pretty sure this is the universal understanding of "fixed." "Variable," on the other hand, means that it might change at any time, for any reason. It is interesting, but still not surprising, that they both actually mean the same thing in the banking world - the definition that better suits their needs! I love it.
Then I tear it up.
Then I cry.
They contain such serious silliness that I love reading some of these "offers" that pack my mailbox. There are so many footnotes with specialized terms and conditions. I wonder how much their lawyers get paid for such creative razzle-dazzle. One of my favorite tricks they do is is offer is giant, bold letters 7.99% Fixed APR!***
And then on the bottom in tiny print -
*** "APRs for this offer are not guarenteed; APRs may change to higher APRs, fixed APRs may change to variable APRs, or variable APRs may change to fixed APRs. We reserve the right to change the terms (including the APRs) at any time for any reason."
To me "fixed" means it is stable or firm. I am pretty sure this is the universal understanding of "fixed." "Variable," on the other hand, means that it might change at any time, for any reason. It is interesting, but still not surprising, that they both actually mean the same thing in the banking world - the definition that better suits their needs! I love it.
Then I tear it up.
Then I cry.
5 Comments:
I was reading that that your credit score can actually be affected by getting too many offers, since each time they send you one, that means they have checked your credit rating, which can be reflected in the credit score.
I have received litereally a dozen offers in the last week. I'm saving them because I want to get a shredder soon so that no damn ID thieves will steal them out of my trash.
Posted by Justtin
Few things piss me off more than diabetics. Those delightful little identity theft gift packages are one of them. A couple of years ago I spent a few hours dissecting these "offers", identifying the protocols needed to attain 'do-not-mail' status, and performed every single little song-and-dance. This resulted in a period of delightful inactivity. Fast-forward to January 2005. Along with my new job, I was required to bind my soul to a corporate Amex card. You guessed it, they blew my cover. Fortunately, the various credit bureaus have created a number since my last ordeal. Victims..I mean customers can call to "opt-out" of the master list these "businesses" use to harass you: 1-888-5-OPTOUT. It takes awhile for the madness to end, but call that number, and end it will.
Posted by Sean
*hands you a tissue*
I heard somewhere that after one declares BK, they get lots of credit card offers, too. Obviously, BKers have nowhere to run.
Posted by Jeanette
steve, that's so weird, b/c once again w're ridin the same brain wave - i just got my credit report in the mail too and i got a 675 out of 850. tha's not so bad but not great either. i never paid this scam artist optometrist who tried to convince me he could fix my color blindness with special glasses, but when i went in to try them on they made everything look red! so of course i didn't buy them, but i got a bill for 95 dollars! and back then that was a lot of money.
Posted by arron
does this work
Posted by Anonymous
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