You Got The Fire?
Why can't these "survivors" light a stinking fire? They knew they would be on the show. Why didn't they go here or any other survival webpage or handbook and then practice, practice, practice. And then practice some more. I want to try to do it myself now. Maybe tomorrow, behind the house, I can try. If I'm successful the whole neighborhood can burn in the glory of my new found skill. Or maybe not.
This would be a good skill to have under my hat, although, especially given my desire for a vast humanity-born apocalypse. If I were to live through it, I would not die like Downtown Party Barbie would. Unless she had a gun, and I the last working pink corvette. Maybe I could entice her to share her military strength and downtown beauty in exchange for my supreme survival knowledge and rugged good-looks. We would spawn a new race of gorgeous human beings that are both incredibly intelligent and ambidextrous. The other mutants that happened to survive the political, nuclear showdown would follow us like puppies, showering us with gifts and servicing our needs. Of course, I would share my fire knowledge with no one, even my pretty, pretty babies. My subjects have to request a fire and I would get to them in my leisure. This would keep the hierarchical system firmly in place with me (and Downtown Party Barbie) on top!
It will be glorious! I'm sorry you won't be able to join us in our little society, but you will be dead. You didn't know how to start a fire.
This would be a good skill to have under my hat, although, especially given my desire for a vast humanity-born apocalypse. If I were to live through it, I would not die like Downtown Party Barbie would. Unless she had a gun, and I the last working pink corvette. Maybe I could entice her to share her military strength and downtown beauty in exchange for my supreme survival knowledge and rugged good-looks. We would spawn a new race of gorgeous human beings that are both incredibly intelligent and ambidextrous. The other mutants that happened to survive the political, nuclear showdown would follow us like puppies, showering us with gifts and servicing our needs. Of course, I would share my fire knowledge with no one, even my pretty, pretty babies. My subjects have to request a fire and I would get to them in my leisure. This would keep the hierarchical system firmly in place with me (and Downtown Party Barbie) on top!
It will be glorious! I'm sorry you won't be able to join us in our little society, but you will be dead. You didn't know how to start a fire.
posted by Stephen "Steve" at 9/23/2004 10:46:00 PM
6 Comments:
What I don't get is the show has had soo many season's they're running out of "natural" challenges that reflect REAL survival. What was that crap with them sleeking by each other on the pole? "How can we get some good shots of the guys getting REAL close & personal if none of them are gay? I got it!"
And that last challenge... When in nature are we going to have to run around blind following orders from some screamball to pick up pieces of a puzzle that complete a stairway so we can get closer to Jeff Probst?
Anyway, I'm glad Dolly was booted becuz she was just a simple-minded sheep farmer. Natalie & I were angry that the girls considered Jeanne because she was "quiet in the morning." I hate noises & talking in the early morning. Does this mean I'm not worthy? Quiet in the morning? G-Zus, why don't I just get booted because I don't like the color yellow.
Courtney, Cory, and the rest of your kind like to belittle the "reality" shows because they are "Not real, man." Get over yourselves. We don't turn on the TV for reality. Reality doesn't come in the form of moving lights on a flat screen produced by companies. We don't get off on the functionality or practicality of the show. I.E., what daily business lessons are on display on The Apprentice? How often do business suits create and then sell ice cream on the street? No, we get off on the PEOPLE. All those gloriously flawed people hating each other for each other’s flaws. I even get off on the producers pushing their silly agenda, like putting homophobic men in homoerotic situations and then trying to sell that to me as if it is funny. (It is)
Oh, I like it, trust me. It's compelling drama. I watched the first episode of The Bachelor the other night... 25 beautiful women competing over one man? Love it.
AND I like to make fun of it.
You think they'll make a reality show about bloggers someday? There's a good chance. My idea is a show where 10 bloggers live in a house with their computers in a circle facing each other for like a month or so. Every one posts about what's going on about each other. They plot and publish and get voted off every week. It would be interactive and such and everything they write is posted on the web to give the show a more interactive element.
That's not a bad idea. Like Big Brother, but instead of the stale confessional room, they have to blog something like twice a day. They couldn't read each other’s blogs, but any viewer can comment on theirs. The only problem would be that it would be way too involving for any normal viewer. TV watchers don't like too much interaction.
Oh, and welcome back to the land of internet living, Cory.
HA! Remember when Courtney was on MTV? And all the girls were screaming and screaming over him and how we all thought, "Ladies, ladies--calm down! It's just Courtney!"
hey, isn't will in the reality tv show business now? The only problem with that idea, because otherwise it is absolutely perfect, is that watching people type is boring. And reading is boring. and writing is boring. Maybe if some hot chicks were trying to have sex with someone while they were trying to blog. There's a show!!!